da-mous:

uberguber89:

ananicoleta:

weaselle:

thesnadger:

audrocur:

wow millennials are glued to their i-phones and laptops so much they cant even be bothered robbing in person anymore!!! maybe these trust fund babies should stop phishing credit cards while sitting on their butts and go out there and put some elbow grease into their thievery!

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I know exactly what happened. Because it happened to me.

I trained for years to be a con artist. I told my friends and family that I wanted to be a magician, but that was just a cover for why I was constantly practicing sleight of hand. 

In junior high and high school, I would shop lift a bunch of candy on my way to school, sell it to kids at the morning break, and use that money to run a crooked poker game at lunch.

Finally, when I was 19 or 20, I felt I was ready, and I picked my first pocket. I was on the bus, bumped a guy as I passed down the aisle, got his wallet, super clean.

In the wallet was several hundred dollars. A huge first score, I had been hoping for a couple twenties. I sat there looking at the, like, 400 bucks, thinking.

That was my rent at the time. We were both on the bus. It was likely his rent too. Lord knows the only reason to carry that much cash on the bus is you’re on your way to pay a bill. We were both on the bus, you know? That’s not someone I was comfortable stealing from.

I tapped him on the shoulder and told him “hey i think you dropped this” and gave it back to him with all the money still in it. It was the first and last time I ever picked a pocket.

Picking a rich person’s pocket is a loosing game. They probably have credit cards and not cash, those credit cards probably have the best anti-theft measures their bank can provide, and you probably can’t get close enough to those people to pick their pockets unless you’re already rich yourself.

The people who’s pockets you can reliably pick are the people around you. The people who are also on the bus, who are in this same shitty situation with you.

As wealth inequality becomes more drastic picking pockets has very clearly become “stealing from other poor people” and it’s not satisfying. I want to steal from Google and Apple and Fox and Facebook and General Mills and Hershey and Tesla. Not the person next to me.

Wow. This post went from funny to a life lesson in a way I wasn’t expecting, amd I’m not sorey at all.

See, unlike the capitalist elite, common criminals have a sense of morality and empathy.

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aem-ol:

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I have a ref of my mc tho idk if anyone’s interested

actually nvm idk what else to really share abt them. She’s very cringe, very goofy, quite the silliest, and maybe geeks a lot about space and stars also they really wanted to have cool wavy eyebrows when they met cove at step 1 ‘cause she thinks hers are really dumb

Regardless of how cringe and weird they are, Cove very much loves her regardless,,


Step 1: They/them pronouns and is referred to as Winnie

Step 2 & 3: She/her pronouns and is referred to as Aine

Step 4: She/they pronouns and is referred to as Wynn

(Cove is the only one who calls them Winnie throughout the years 'cause he just really adores the nickname and Winnie doesn’t mind at all)


Keep reading

doctorjuvenile:

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Well this aged hilariously

unholy amalgamation:

tittyblade:

ct-kyuuu:

I will never forgive mattel for not letting earring magic ken keep his mesh shirt and cock ring necklace in the movie

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truly unforgivable

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peer reviewed tags

nikxation:

nikxation:

PSA, there’s a really nasty Discord scam going around rn. If one of your friends DMs you, starting off with a simple “hello” “how are you”, may even joke around a little, and then starts asking you to look at a game/project they’re working on, don’t click the link, don’t download anything. If you can reach that friend through non-Discord means, reach out and let them know they got hacked.

One of my friends said the link takes them to a very convincing video game page that has in-game screenshots and stuff, and then gives you an option to download a playtest zip file or something. That download exploits a weakness Discord apparently has for password protected zip files and steals your Discord log-in and changes your account info to the scammer’s account info. Two of my friends lost their accounts. Be careful.

Slight adjustment to this… Apparently the virus scrapes all your passwords and files on your computer, not just Discord… It just uses Discord to gain access… Friend had a picture of his license saved on his computer, and apparently the scammers even got their hands on that… So it’s a nasty little hack…

todaysbird:

pigcatapult:

todaysbird:

unclefather:

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he took a bath 3 times

his name is Organic Spinach

the cleanest frog in Michigan

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if i had some kind of deal as a kid where a frog was at the bottom of bags of spinach i would have easily eaten five times as much spinach

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